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15 Best Tips for Relationship success in 2021
A relationship is a partnership
It’s not an ownership, it’s not a contract, it’s not a hierarchy,it’s not a business, it’s not an arrangement of convenience, it’s not a game. It is a partnership, with equal rights assigned. It is a consensus, with mutual benefits.
You don’t need someone else to “complete” you
While I admit that the declaration “You…complete…me!” ala Jerry Maguire is bound to melt anyone’s hardened heart, the lesson here is that you cannot possibly live life as an incomplete person. The obvious disadvantage would be that you would inevitably be waiting and holding out for that Someone, without whom you would not feel “complete”. Your days would feel incomplete, because you are “missing” a part of you. You believe that Life cannot be lived fully unless you are made “complete” by another. And that would be such a waste of all the wonderful possibilities that you could have created for yourself if you had chosen instead to live life to the fullest.
Corollary : There is no better half, just a whole lot of you.
You don’t own another, and no one owns you
You are not a possession to be owned by another. By the same token, no one else is a possession to be owned by you. Each person in a relationship is autonomous in her/his own right, and no one else has ownership claim. Well, except God…but that’s another story altogether.
It is a living entity, and therefore needs to grow
This is a simple law of Nature…if it is “alive”, it needs to grow. If it stops growing, it’s no longer “alive”.
It teaches you something about yourself, if you will allow it
Lessons abound within each relationship. You just need to recognise them as such.
Never fall for the illusion of love
In many cases, the real meaning of love has been reduced, lessened, corrupted, twisted and even perverted to mean something else. Better to face the short-term pain of revealing the illusion than the prolonged agony of maintaining the illusion.
Corollary : Never create the illusion of love
Add “like” into the equation
You know you’re in love…great! But do you actually like her/him?
Corollary: You should be able to live with her/him if you are ever marooned on a remote desert island indefinitely.
Nurturing is essential
Bearing in mind that a relationship is “alive”, nurturing and tending to it becomes a necessity. Even the best-looking garden will become overrun with weeds and eventually die if neglected or left unattended.
Empower, not over-power
It is not a power struggle; you don’t always have to be right or be The Boss all the time. Maybe some of the time…
Make time for each other
People grow, circumstances change, events develop, Life moves inexorably forwards. Making time for each other allows you to keep in synch with the rhythm of a relationship.
Make time to be alone
Being with another doesn’t mean you lose your identity or your Self. You don’t have to do everything together; take time off to be with your Self so you will never forget who you are.
It’s a work-in-progress
Through time, many original parameters may need to be re-defined to accommodate changes. It can be “perfect” one day, then “oh-oh” the next. Like a building that sometimes require a renovation, relationships go through re-working or re-building phases. It can be messy during re-construction but you will end up with something that is better.
Keep it real
There are no awards for Best Performance in a Relationship.
Know Thy Heart
Yes, it’s strong enough. Yes, it has the capacity to love again. No, you can never give it away.
Three little words, one huge meaning
Say “I love you”. Say it often. And mean it.
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